i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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