We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
