i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Randomize
