HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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