So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
