just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
