i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
