She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
