he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
