i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
