dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
