Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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