Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Enjoy the penises
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
