you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
