is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
