lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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