I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
