I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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