How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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