This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
