i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
