Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
