Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
