Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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