I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
My feet surprised me
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