I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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