Sponge bath it is.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
My feet surprised me
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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