so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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