I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
