Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
