weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
