I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
