his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
