i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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