Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
