I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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