I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Just puked most of my soul out..
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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