I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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