at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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