They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
