When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
