Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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