You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize