Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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