I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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