ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
