when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
