I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
