I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
