i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
